Why I dislike Red Nose Day - surely charity begins at home

CALL me a bigot, but I dislike Red Nose Day and am so glad that the tawdry charabanc that is Comic Relief has passed for another couple of years.

This year Comic Relief fund-raising raised a record-breaking £75 million. In a time of great austerity, this is a truly amazing figure when you consider that in its first year, in 1988, £15 million was donated by the great British public.

But how much more can you take of One Direction harmoniously snivelling outside a hospital ward where children are dying of malaria, or doe-eyed Mike McIntyre beseeching you to part with your money to help fund a vital irrigation project in a dust-ridden part of Africa?

It seems so reprehensible to even carry such dark thoughts - it's akin to throwing rotten tomatoes at a portrait of Mother Theresa, or trampling over flowers in a beautifully manicured garden. How could you is the collective cry?

So here's why. To watch a lot of the Comic Relief coverage last week was to suggest the BBC and the British public was trying to single-handedly solve poverty in Africa.

It was hot shower/cold bath time - one moment we had the "Call The Midwife" team and Dr Who's Matt Smith causing comic chaos in a modern day "One Born Every Minute" delivery room, and the next there was a moving appeal from a tearful Rob Brydon witnessing the plight of a young malaria sufferer called Isaac.

Ironically, it wasn't until 90 minutes into the Comic Relief TV marathon that an actual country was mentioned. As Will Dean perceptively wrote in The Independent:

 The earlier films featuring members of One Direction and others were almost satirically vague about which undifferentiated blob of Earth they were on – "I'm in Africa, walking through a giant rubbish tip in the middle of a slum." Later, the boyband The Wanted visited a school and used the same shorthand, talking of wanting to help "people less fortunate in Africa". It's not fair to blame boybanders, but the idea of vaguely "helping Africa" doesn't really help the argument for this kind of aid. The attitude was neatly mocked by Jack Whitehall during the late-night Fresh Meat segment when he told a room of students: "Thanks to you guys, Africa is fixed."

But here's the rub. While Africa took centre stage, it was so easy to forget on a night of giving that Comic Relief also does a lot of great work in the UK.

Click on this link and you can read about the hundreds of valuable projects which the charity is supporting at home: www.comicrelief.com/how-we-help  There are some great projects listed - 115 in the south-east and 111 in the south alone - although there are some which are so minority you have to ask why.

Thank heavens for this money going to these worthwhile causes which might otherwise wither and die were it not for the generosity of Comic Relief.

No, my issue is with how Africa-centric Comic Relief has become. It has become sexy and good for celebrities' public relations image to be seen grabbing the Kleenex in Africa. It has also become politically correct for the Government to support such ventures. This year the Government threw in £16 million of tax payers' money into the pot, specifically for Comic Relief’s work to improve the lives of women and girls 

in Africa. 

Let's not even go there by debating the merits of the Government ring-fencing its International Development budget where 0.7% of our gross national income goes directly on supporting the rest of the world. That is obscene and so wrong. Surely this shows Britain's compassion as a nation, some may argue, but what does spending taxpayer's money on aid have to do with compassion when we are making stringent cuts on essential services in our own country?

This week's depressing budget offered a sobering reminder of how much economic do-do we are in. We can't afford to support even the most vulnerable in our own society, and yet we are shelling out hundreds of millions of pounds each year to support countries which have frittered away their money. It's a bit like giving money to an errant child to spend on food, who sits at home all day doing nothing.

What happened to their responsibility to look after themselves? Why are we supporting some nations with aid who are economically looking to overtake the UK in the next decade or two?

Why should it take Britain to help get Africa's house in order? 

I don't lack compassion, I don't have to justify my own charity work - that is a matter of public record - but surely charity begins at home. Think what difference £73 million could do to transforming the lives of people in the UK.